The room was dim, this was a place I had been before, but this time it was different and I felt lost. I had on my fancy new black dress I purchased just for this occasion, although what I looked like didn’t matter, nothing mattered that day for this was my grandmothers funeral. My shoulders slumped under the weight of Death’s hand.  

It was the morning of May 12th, 2002 and I remember waking up because I heard voices in the living room. It was my aunt and my cousin. I thought it was strange for them to be here this early. I got out of bed and opened my door to use the restroom and as I passed through the living room I noticed my mother, aunt and cousin all had tear stained faces. I went to the bathroom and then my mom entered and started crying and told me my grandmother had passed away in the night. I wailed and tears flowed like a never ending waterfall of depression. I had just lost someone that was not only my grandma, but my best friend and second mother. I sat there on the edge of the tub and thought my world had ended, I didn’t know what to do without her. Who would help me with my homework? Who would I run to when I had a bad day?  

On the one hand, I had known it was only a matter of time before she passed on. But on the other, she had been ill and I took for granted that she would be around for a lot longer. Regret was exactly what I felt upon hearing that my grandma was gone. I remember thinking I should have been nicer to her, stayed with her every minute, and most of all I still had so many questions that I never asked. The following day my mother and aunt left early to the funeral home to begin making arrangements for the funeral and to pick out the headstone. The one they chose is very pretty. It has roses and vines around the name of my grandmother and my grandfather who had passed before I was born. It also has two hummingbirds with their long beaks touching.  

On the day of the services I wake up and beg my mother telling her I don’t want to go. Going just seems like its too much, too real and not something I want to deal with. She doesn’t let me stay home though she says I have to go. I don’t eat breakfast because I have no appetite. I lay out my dress and drag out our old hot rollers to curl my hair with. they are the ones you have to let heat up for 20 minutes before they get good and hot. My mom curls my hair and my sisters hair then hers. When we are all finished getting ready and looking our best we head to the funeral home a little way out of town. It is a small funeral home in the country. When we arrive there we are greeted by the funeral director and his wife. I have never met them before but they are very friendly and tell us how sorry they are for our loss. they ask if we want to go see my grandma and they lead us into the main room where her casket sits. I slowly walk up to it where my grandma lays. I have never seen her with make up on until now. They’ve gave her blush and a soft lip stick. I look up at my mom and see has tears in her eyes and she says how she thinks they did a good job dressing my grandma up and that she looks really pretty.

and then idk what to write ? :/